Because I don't know how else to say it... or to show it.

I had an interesting week.

Monday was celebrating my officemate ate Joreen’s Birthday at Cyma. Made fun of the menu (in reference to us not them… lest I be accused of mockery), and sampled Greek food for the first time! How lame (of me). Other than that, it was a pretty normal Monday and by normal i mean "long and eventful". Just glad that's over.

Went to work unwillingly on Tuesday. We gave Sir Mark a "funny" send-off during lunch hehe :-) Learned a lot from the guy, albeit vicariously, but just the same... he will be missed. Wrote a few stuff, had them approved, and crammed my almost-late-but-worth-the-wait(haha!) content analysis in between.

The AYTNBS (that’s short for Are You The Next Big Star?) pocket interview finally pushed through last Wednesday. The show's doing ok. I mean, it generally fairs better than Singing Bee in terms of ratings but the “circus” that is Talentadong Pinoy has been kicking its ass! speaking of, someone from Research gave us a lecture (in my case, a refresher) on how TV ratings are generated. I actually hate how people in this industry have become slaves of the ratings game. Although part of me disapproves of it, I’ve no choice but to tweak my ideal just to reconcile it with reality. Tsk.

Thursday was pretty normal and unusually quiet at work, except when it was time for the General Assembly. No news of an impending “bonus” but the free Big Macs (yes, plural!) and McNuggets made me very happy. This time I took home 4 boxes! HAHAHA I was literally diving into the box when JRD (the EVP&COO of GMA Network lang naman) made a surprise visit to our office seconds after the food arrived! Nice one, sir. In other news, I realized that I’m still “a work in progress”. Just wish I had more patience to survive a few more days, weeks, months… or (pero please, wag naman po) years.

TGIF. I went on a “midday spa break”. Treated myself to a foot spa and pedis. Ate Ghia took us to this newly opened Spa along Timog beside Cake2Go called Spa 101. Cool place. Spent the rest of the day in slippers and took off “relatively” early to be able make it to the impromptu dinner with friends. Not the original “crowd” I had in mind cos the group I was supposed to be with was… I don’t know, busy? Hello dankarolandchris!

It was a working Saturday, and an “eventful” one at that. Helped out Marian with the thanksgiving presscon of one her accounts. By helping out I mean, manning the registration table and “hosting” the program. Our team has this unwritten rule that whenever there’s a small-or-medium-scale event - more often than not - I’d host. But boy, yesterday was, to say the least, different. The famously feisty “Bisaya” took me aback when she suddenly took the microphone from me and decided to moderate the Q&A herself (considering wala na dapat Q&A)! It was an awkward, suspenseful, and weirdly exciting moment all at the same time. Hehe Much later, a well-known actor came up to me and said, “you’re a very shy girl”. Lol. Tatanungin ko sana siya ng “BAKIT NAMAN PO?” but instead, I just smiled at him. Shy nga ako eh. :-)

Finally, Sunday was family lunch at Fontana Hotel, while battling a pimple after months of not having to deal with a zit as stubborn as this one! HAHA sorry off topic bigla. Shopped a bit. Then we went inside the casino just to check things out. The guard actually thought I was 18!!! Hahaha so I showed him my Fontana ID and he finally let me in. and… and… last but not the least, UP BEAT ATENEO!!! 68-58! CALL IT CHAMBA, CALL IT WHATEVER YOU WANT. IN THE END, PANALO PA RIN KAMI! UP FIGHT!

July 26, 2009. 1:34 a.m. Just had to include that for posterity. :-) Gotta love this week!

To say that the past week was stressful would be the understatement of the year. No… make that of my entire life.

From scrounging around for the best possible ideas to shuttling to and from Divisoria in search of cheap bayong*, from crying over a missing flash drive (containing a lengthy PR for release on the same day) to freaking out over the terribly indecisive weather, braving the storm and rushing to the nearest photo printer, to even more panic-inducing moments (lost collateral print-outs, incomplete give-away tags/stickers, etc.) accompanied by bouts of self-doubt, anxiety, and fear of unforgivable failure…

I EXPERIENCED IT ALL.

After spearheading several mini and medium-bordering-on-big events/presscons, I finally earned enough experience (and my boss’ trust) to handle what we call “a GRAND media launch” or a “primetime event”.

It all started off at a promising pace and I thought to myself… “hey, this isn’t so hard”. I had a great “theme” (well, at least for me and the program manager) in mind - Maytime traditions of fiesta and flores de mayo, Bayanihan Dancers, etc. befitting the rural/all-original feel of the story. And everything seems to be falling into place.

But then, weeks passed and the soothing feeling was replaced by panic and exasperation at the seeming incoherence of our plans. We changed dates more than twice (from May 25 to May 31 to June 2, and then finally June 3), which meant looking (and marketing!) for another venue and checking the availability of the performers, among others.

As if things aren't stressful enough, it rained so HARD on the day of the launch that I had to ask “tuloy pa po ba tayo?”. Still, we decided to push through with it praying our hardest that the some 150 guests will show up and appreciate the hard work we put into mounting the event.

To cut the long story short, we came through and it turned out to be a (stunning *wink*) success, attendance and production wise :-) I was flipping through the papers yesterday and I couldn’t help but feel proud at the sight of praises for my “flashy” event. :-) See photos (incomplete though).

Every new undertaking has its own challenges, and even if we do realize in the end that it is not something we would like to do in the long term, it is not a wasted experience because it has helped us get to know ourselves better.

I never thought that I’d be trading personal e-mails with a professor, especially not with her. Though it took her a while to reply as she was at that time (and still is, I think) pursing further studies abroad, her response to my email was, to my surprise, quite lengthy and elaborate.

To be honest, I wasn’t expecting such heartfelt reply from a professor known for being strict and oftentimes, hard on her students. But there it was, a friendly and “motherly” email from her narrating how and where she’s been and what she’s currently doing, while paying attention to my qualms and queries as a then struggling new kid at work.

As I was browsing through my inbox yesterday, I came across her email again alongside old messages from friends, one-time groupmates and unread e-newsletters. However, reading her reply the second time around brought so much more meaning and clarity than when I first received the e-mail 8 months ago. Everything seems to make more sense now as if I was just reading it for the first time, most especially the quote that I posted above.

So, I think that in whatever it is that we choose we pursue, what’s important is that we learn from it and take in as much experience as we can, just like what my prof said in her e-mail. Cos as a colleague of mine used to say, this, wherever we are right now, is merely a stop for us… on our way to someplace else.

In the mere 5 minutes that she sang on the stage of Britain's Got Talent, she was able to inspire, move and motivate each and every person who caught a glimpse of her anthemic rendition of “I Dream A Dream” to always stay true to THEMSELVES and to never ever give up on their dreams.

More importantly, her surprisingly awesome performance taught us to never lose FAITH in OTHERS at any given time in our lives. Some of us readily judge others based solely on appearance, still and all, every individual - as Susan showed us - has something special about him/her, be it a talent, a personal story or an attribute, that outsiders have the slightest clue on. That is, until he or she is given the CHANCE.

Again, thank you, SUSAN BOYLE, for being a true inspiration. Here’s hoping that you make it till the end of the competition along with my hopes of meeting or finding more people like you who inspire us to make a difference.

A bit late but just the same, here’s a collage showing bits and pieces of how I spent the wonderful year that was 2008 :-)

1. The making of Beyond Borders. Data gathering for our thesis in Cabanatuan in January.
2. Celebrating 31 years of academic excellence. CommRessoc Anniversary in February
3. Reinforcement, operant conditioning, et al. Psych of learning class project in March.
4. Bursting with UP pride. UP Centennial Graduation in April.
5. Summer to remember. On board Superstar Virgo during our Asian Cruise in May.
6. Turning legal in all countries. My 21st Birthday in June.
7. The life of a momentary bum. More idle time in July.
8-10. Practicing some Work-Life Balance. Quality time w/ friends during the early "ber" months
11. Most eventful month of the second half of the year. My "big break" in November.
12. Enjoying the holidays with the people I love most. Christmas with the Hermoso's in December.

Last night, as my mom and I ceremoniously proceeded to drinking coffee after dinner, she pointed out how my writing is more suited for news than feature writing. She even compared my style to that of an old flame (whose love letter I allowed her to read once) and of another friend whom she had the chance to exchange text messages with in the past. How great is that, right?

Although she made it clear that her intention was not to criticize (she claimed she was merely comparing), it didn’t quite register to me that way. lol. My mom was expressing her - what’s the word? - observation of my inability to use flowery words in my essays. She described my writing as technical and too straight-forward, which I’ve probably picked up from all those years of commres.

I just nodded as she critiqued me some more. I couldn’t complain cos I do agree with her to some extent despite my disappointment over her "observation". To cut the long story short, I ended up agreeing with her and that signaled the end of our conversation.

This is how we are at home, my mom and I. We spend hours on end just talking about more or less the same things. Her childhood, her old friends, her past loves, her failed marriage with my father, her frustrations, her dreams... her ambitions for me.

She critiques me, showers me with praises, lectures me, etc (BUT not necessarily in that order. HAHAHA). Cliche as it is, there's no other person on this planet who knows me as well as my mom. She can probably recount my life so specifically and vividly, naming every joy, pain and sacrifice that I ever went through.

There’s no specific occasion for why I wrote this entry. I just thought I’d allot space for the one person who remains steadfast for as long as I can remember. I just love my mom. I guess that’s reason enough.

Being here - face-to-face with life’s real issues, it humbles me to know how the things that I used to consider most important take less precedence than say, work relations or personal fulfillment.

How there’s always something new – living or non-living (lol.) - to smack you in the head that you never knew existed or thought possible. A theory turns into its exact opposite when practiced.. Or a person uncharacteristically a) surprises b) fails or c) requires you to second doubt your decisions, instincts or (gasp!) yourself.

For no reason, I'm just suddenly all pensive and observant of the things I’ve never really given much care about, which is a good thing… or not.

I have yet to find out.

I’m almost finally done with my hell week. No, make that hell month, cos you won’t imagine how “eventful” November has been for us. And now, after putting up with succeeding nights of having to go home at an indecent hour and (!) waking up earlier than usual, my body is telling (more like screaming at) me to stop, breathe, and take time off from this busy schedule.

I’ve actually been reporting to work and recuperating (at the same time! Haha ang labo) for about a week now. You don’t really have much of a choice when you’re under probation and is expected to prove your complete devotion to your job at all costs - exactly the uh, test, which I have to endure until such time when I can finally enjoy the benefits of a "regular" employee. Sigh.

Let it be December na please!

It’s one thing to see your ideas printed out on paper but it’s quite another to see them materialize right before your own two eyes.

Much credit goes to the production designer who so vividly “operationalized” my mental picture of how the venue should look like. lol.

Now I can say, ganito pala yung feeling. ang galing. :-)

Life, welcome back! :-)

I managed to get up from my desk, step inside the elevator, ride the elevator all the way down to the 9th floor, walk inside the finance department, fall in line and wait outside the cashier’s window - all while wearing unidentical footwear! Gasp!

In my haste to finish my errand (and out of sleepiness, I guess), I spent almost twenty minutes running around with a shiny, bronze sandal on one foot and a bright pink (!) Havaianas on the other!

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the most mortifying moment of my entire life. The time when I stained the couch during my granduncle’s wake comes in close second. hahaha

( try this, it will freak you out )

I'm re-posting this game/quiz, quite uncharacteristically, cos I find the results to be pretty amazing. 99 percent true (with a .01 margin of error, hahaha). WOW :-) So trust me when I say that it's worth a try, and another round of re-posting perhaps.

I hope my wish comes true. :-)

Before the shiny happy feeling could even wear off, I’m currently suspending work to make time for this entry.

Congratulations to the UP Pep Squad for defending their first place stature! From the moment they started with their routine, I knew theirs will be the best, just as it was last year and the year before that. Special mention to captain Angel Sison (what a way to end your final sem, Angel!). ;-)

Happy Centennial, champions! UP Ang Galing Mo!